I'm too old for sugar & toking. Is there hope for a high?

I'm too old for sugar & toking. Is there hope for a high?

Dear JaneI am officially old. I eat too late, my esophagus is wrecked. I eat too much sugar, I’m basically hung over for a week. I sleep too little, I can barely move. I sleep too much, I can barely move. You get the point. Cannabis is almost purely medicinal for me at this point. But here’s the rub: I can’t seem to smoke or vape without my esophagus burning like the coals of hell, and edibles all seem to be loaded with sugar. Is there hope for me that doesn’t involve bringing my anti-canni doc into it? Sincerely Lorraine Strains



You’re speaking directly to my old person soul. Walking up the stairs sounds like I’m stepping on potato chips with all the crunching and cracking that my joints do. Sometimes when I reach the top of the steps, I like to reward my joints with a joint. You know how it is. But when the scratchy throat and cough become unbearable, the last thing you want to do is smoke. 

Back in my day, you smoked a J or packed a bowl. Those were basically your choices. Nowadays, you can eat your THC. It's crazy how many ways there are to consume cannabis now! What’s great is that dispensaries actually offer low sugar edibles or ones that are made with artificial sweeteners. But wait! There’s more! On my last trip to the dispensary, I actually purchased sugar-free lemonade mix! I haven’t tried it yet, but I’ll keep you in the loop. 

The last time I flew out of Chicago, I had a THC patch on my foot. It was supposed to deliver 50mg of Indica THC to my bloodstream and last up to 8 hours. I felt absolutely nothing. Except for the thrill of paranoia about getting busted. But maybe for people who don’t have such a high tolerance, these are extremely effective. 

The point is, there are so many ways to consume weed that don’t involve inhalation. I was at a Michigan cannabis festival this past weekend, and a vendor offered me a “sublingual sample”. It was freaking disgusting. lol. The taste was absolutely rancid and it took over my entire mouth. BUT the idea behind it is genius! The vendor placed a small amount of THC concentrate on my finger and told me to apply it under my tongue. The taste immediately took over, and I fought every urge in my body to gag in the man’s face. Fifteen minutes and a gallon of water later, I was on cloud 9! 

Definitely do some research to find what’s available to you locally. Every time I look at an online dispensary or go into a local shop, I am shocked by what is available. It’s possible to do most of this online these days, but I personally (and as a fellow old person, you might too) like to go brick and mortar so I can just soak up the budtenders’ knowledge. People are out there 24/7 coming up with new ways to consume cannabis. I for one can’t wait to see what they come out with next!