Is Brain Fog a Side Effect or Am I Buying Total Schwag?

Dear Jane, If I burn one a couple days in a row, I get this really lousy brain fog that janks up my work day. Is this a side effect of all weed or a sign that I’m buying total schwag? —Coach Roach

______________________________________________________________________

Hey Coach,

The brain fog is no joke! I usually refer to it as a weed hangover. Not that you were asking, but I would prefer a weed hangover to a booze hangover any day. To each their own, though. You do you.

I think a lot of the lethargy and lingering symptoms come from the quality of the flower. You mention schwag. Schwag is one of those terms that takes me back to 2005. Young, fairly innocent, Jane. Overpaying for the shittiest of the schwag. I made it no secret that I was clueless, and the local plug had no problem taking advantage of my naivety.

My friends and I spent a lot of money on a lot of shitty grass throughout those prime years. It would take so many hits and so much coughing before the crappy weed would even begin to affect us. The following morning we’d always be left sluggish and sleepy.

That isn’t something I deal with anymore, especially having access to different grades of bud. I’m no pro, by any means, but I have a general rule of thumb that’s been working out for me so far: You get what you pay for. Especially when it comes to the dispensary. When you’re purchasing your product from a legal entity, you’re more likely to get a quality product.

Keep in mind that the BEST weed I ever purchased from my hometown plug wouldn’t even meet the standards to be sold in a dispensary. I did what I had to do back then. Beggars can’t be choosers.

That said, if you don’t have access to a dispensary directly and are getting your green through the pot pipeline, there are a few telling traits that can distinguish schwag from fire:

1. Good weed will smell pungently of those familiar scents—skunk, diesel, pine, you know the ones. Bad weed will either emit very little fragrance or smell kind of nasty, like mildew or old dust.
2. The more vibrant your flower’s color, the better. The good stuff will be a rich green with bright orange hairs and plenty of glistening frost (those tiny crystals are your trichomes). Quality buds might even show some purple or blue. Discoloration is a sure sign of ditch weed. When trichomes die, they turn an amber color, making the weed appear a dull gray- or brown-green.
3. Top shelf nugs will be sticky and a little dense and spongy, while dirt weed will be dry, brittle, and quick to crumble.

If your weed doesn’t pass the test, it’s most likely the culprit of your brain fog, which means it’s time to find a new source, take a road trip, or throw down a little more at the dispensary.

Jane