Is it the dope or do I have a crush on my roommate?

Is it the dope or do I have a crush on my roommate?

Dear Jane, The other night, I was hanging out with my roommate, smokin’ a bowl as we do, and then out of nowhere, I started to have…feelings?! I’ve been living with Blaze for years now, and it’s always been platonic between us. Could it be that this was just a weird response to the dope or do I actually have a crush on my roommate? Smokin’ and smitten. —Mindyca Green


Dear Mindyca, 

I’ve been pondering this one myself. I recently noticed that sometimes, when I get high, I just crush so hard on this guy called, let’s say, Bud. Bud, who farts like a skunk. Bud, who shows off two inches of butt crack every time he bends over. THAT Bud. 

I was freaking myself out a little bit. Is that normal? For me to be high on Bud like this? Does it only happen with a particular type of weed? Or only after a certain amount is consumed? Maybe it’s just a hormonal thing—like, it doesn’t happen every time I’m high, so maybe my body chemistry has to be just right in order for it to happen? 

Here’s what I landed on: yes, when I toke, and the stars align, I like Bud. Because here’s the thing: yes, weed does affect emotions, and so yes, it can make feelings stronger— crush-like strong even. 

But here’s the other thing: I wasn’t high when I married this butt-crack showing, skunk-farting gem of a husband I’m calling Bud. So the weed is not fabricating this feeling. It’s just strengthening it, making it a little more rose-tinted. 

Let’s call it a kush crush shall we? The elevated feelings of admiration that occur when the matchmaking properties of weed suppress negativity, break down emotional filters, and highlight the strictly positive elements of a person or relationship. 

Here’s what I’d say about Blaze. Your crush on him the other day wasn’t fake. Those were genuine feelings. The question is: 

Are those feelings strong enough on a consistent basis—when the sweet juices of ganja aren’t helping you see the best in him—or are they just enough to make Blaze a good friend and a livable roommate? 

I’d encourage you to let go of that one night as best you can and just see if the feelings come up again. If the feelings continue showing up only when you’re baked, maybe ask yourself:

What do I like about Blaze when I’m high that I don’t when I’m sober? 

What don’t I like about Blaze when I’m sober that I don’t mind when I’m high? 

You might find that weed is making up for lacking chemistry between you two. Or, you might find that it’s helping you break down an emotional barrier that otherwise holds you back from a relationship worth having. 

Before this gets any deeper into love, I’m going to sign off, but let me just say:

I know it feels weird. I was confused as hell when I started kush crushin’. But you’re not crazy, and a crush doesn’t need to mean anything more than you want it to. You got this Mindyca. Trust yourself.

In solidarity,

Jane Blunt